Lessons Learnt in 2020

This past year, 2020, has taught me so much that I can implement in my coming life. I have relearnt so many lessons, which were unlearnt somehow in the past couple of years. I learnt once again to let go everything, every feeling, every person, irrespective of the fact that I do not want to do that. 

But I learnt to let go because we cannot hold anything or any person to be with us, we cannot live a life based on the assumption that we have everyone around, no, we have no one around, we were alone, we are alone and we will remain be alone and I think this is how life is. This is how Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala want us to be. This is how Allah want me to be, He wants me to rely only and only on Him, He wants me to put all my efforts in the work for which he has sent me in this world. 

I have relearnt that be less expressive, keep your thoughts to yourself, don't over do things, just be calm and patient and become the best observer. Don't panic, don't let your anger drive you crazy, be friends with your anger, be friends with your inner self, be what you are, don't try to be someone who is not you. 

I have relearnt that life is tuff and it will be more difficult in future but the more difficult it becomes, the stronger your faith becomes. 

I have untied so many knots and set everything, every person free, I am my own friend, I have relearnt that no one can be your best friend except yourself, if you are sad, only you know it and only you are going to be affected by it, no one, literally no one will be there to see or even notice you. That is life!

No matter how many friends, loved ones, closed ones are there, you will have no one around you when you need it. It is you who will be there. So if anyone is calling you selfish because you care for yourself, let them think that. Keep yourself at peace, work on yourself, stay quiet and avoid any kind of interruption in anyone's matters. Just focus on yourself and do your best. Everything else will fall into place.

I have learnt that it is important to make yourself your own priority, make your connection stronger with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala because at the end of the day, it is the only thing that is there, that is your saviour. No one else will come to help you except Allah. 

 

Be Kind!

Try as much as possible to appreciate others, if someone is trying to tell you something, listen to it. May be you are the only listener that person has, may be you are the only one for whom he/she waits to talk to, may be you are the one who can heal that person from any or all kinds of sufferings. 

What are counselling sessions? What psychologists do? They listen. They listen to what the person has to say. We are living in this world, where no one is ready to listen, no one has the patience to listen with peace. By just a single word, or two, we might be responsible for damaging a person’s self-esteem. 

There are people full of love and compassion, but when they don’t see any acknowledgement for being kind, for being compassionate, it makes them become rude from outside, and they go through inner battles that completely cause severe damage to their heart and soul. 

If you are someone’s friend, be a friend, if you are someone’s confidant, be a confidant, if you are someone’s listener, be a listener, if you are someone’s hope, be a hope! Be kind, be tolerant! Try to make things easy for others, may be your habit of listening or your utterance of few words of kindness could help someone fight the psychological problems. 

Be a help! Help that could let someone handle the troubling brain games.

Words Matter!

The people in this world are so rude that when you genuinely show concern towards them, when you are being empathetic, when you ask them how they are doing, are they okay, do they need any help?... You will be judged… You will be given this perception that please keep your concerns to yourself, don’t ask us… I don’t understand why everyone in this world is so mean, why empathy is not appreciated… 

We humans were sent to this world to be kind to others, be helpful for others, stay humble and be empathetic. We have been given knowledge of deen and dunya, we are told about the manners, we are informed about the choice of words we have to use while interacting with others. But we prefer to stay quiet… Words matter! Words really matter!

Words give life to humans… We humans are so in need of the words that can heal us, if words would not have mattered, why would have Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala used the words in Quran? Why didn’t he just gave the message to Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) and tell him to convey to us? Because He knew that we humans want to listen to words, want to read it. 

But it is so saddening to know and accept that even if someone shows pure concerns, have pure intentions to be good to others, that person has to go through a lot alone because everyone around is trying to tell that person that there is some issue with you, you are not normal, you are not acting the way the world is acting. You should behave in the same manner like all the people are behaving in this world…

Few words can save someone from being hopeless, can save someone from being evil, can save someone from becoming like the rest of the world… We have to be kind, we have to appreciate kindness, we have to do it because Allah has conveyed this message to us through Quran and through his beloved Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.). 

We have to keep the worldly things at a side and be nice to others, we have to stop being judgemental because it will ruin many pure people around us, we will be left with no kindness, no purity, no humility…

Thank you Note..

My dear friends,

To all those, with whom I have talked and shared my heart and thoughts in 2019, thank you so much for your time, attention, advice, and most importantly, for being an avid listener. This year has been a great year for me in terms of my professional development and earnings, but as far as the personal development is concerned, I went through a lot, both emotionally and mentally. But I have learnt great lessons from every experience this year. I was not able to identify what exactly was hitting me deep inside but each one of you (I know you all know that I am talking to you), your existence, love, attention and precious time saved me from the worst thoughts. I am writing this thank you note to each one of you. I am truly blessed to have you all around me. I hope and pray that we keep in touch like this in the coming year as well. Prayers, hugs and flowers for you all. Had I been given a chance to pick some of the best people who are no less than a diamond, I would have surely picked you all, for a life time!

Thank you so much.

Love,

Asra

Journey from 'Taraqi Pazeer' to 'Taraqi Yaafta'..

Baba keeps saying this to me and my siblings that now is the time to put all your efforts and work harder. He keeps telling us, "baba, we are in the 'taraqi pazeer' situation, when we will become 'taraqi yafta', then the whole world will be under your feet." 

He always motivates us and makes us believe that all our dreams will come true one day! He prays all the time for us and keeps saying loudly that all these world tours, the luxuries, the vacations will one day be so easy for us to manage and afford, then we will say to ourselves, "so, this was the world tour!" He tries to bring the best in us when we are feeling down.

Not only Baba, Ammi also tries to lessen our burden by doing our little things like washing our clothes (when we are tired and don't have enough time and energy to manage our wordrobe). The best thing about my parents, and especially baba, which I admire the most is that he knows about the mood swings, the good feelings, the anger and the depression mode of each one of us (We are 5 siblings and our personalities and natures are poles apart). 

I don't know how parents keep a balance in making their children feel that they are only theirs. They make each one of us believe that they have their trust in us, they are there, holding us tightly, standing strong! And no matter what strikes them, with full negativity, they never show it to us. 

I don't know about others' parents, but our Ammi and Baba always listen to what we have to say and share with them. Their presence in our lives makes us feel less burdened, lighter and more comfortable in being us and being ourselves! They are the backbone of the family, both of them!

Dear Ammi and Baba, 

I don't know whether you will read this or not, but I want you to know that I love you both the most. I can't think of a better best friend than both of you. May Allah bless you both with great health, happiness and peace. Ameen sum ameen. 

Yours only,

Heer

I QUIT!

I quit! Hath Mathay Baba..!

I have been very indecisive for the past 7 years. Although I have learnt thousands of lessons, it is really sad to say that I have ruined my health, my emotions, expectations of my closed ones and my development as an adult. The last time I made a strong decision in my life was in June 2012, it was the time when I decided to pursue law and I was so strong in my decision that I committed to myself that I will convince my father for allowing me to study law. After making this decision, I have been going with the flow. 

There were times when I had to suffer a lot emotionally, personally and professionally. But I was of the opinion that it is part of the process of learning. Initially, I did not complain about anything because I read somewhere that those who complain don't own their mistakes. So I was owning every mistake I made at that time. But gradually, I started getting up set with this. I started complaining about things and people. I was not able to sort it out what exactly was going on with me, why I was so much complaining about everything that existed in my life. I started spending less time with my siblings, only talked to my parents, specifically my father, 2 to 3 times a week.

Although I preferred to make no friends since my childhood and I always liked to spend time in isolation (but that was only for the world outside), this isolation period in which I was not talking to anyone at home, broke me more emotionally. Till date, I only talk to my father at home and I used to have very less conversations with everyone at home. But in all these years, I always wanted to quit. 

Yes, I wanted to quit this isolation. I wanted to quit my old self. I wanted to quit every bad habit that destroyed my health. But I was very indecisive and I developed this indecisivity due to all the things that were going on in my life, both personally and professionally. 

From making a decision to study law to becoming a licensed lawyer today, the journey has been a long one but it has affected me in such a way that the process of change within myself has been restrained. I have become too lazy to put effort in becoming a better version of myself. This laziness, this feeling, this whole situation had struck me recently.

But, I QUIT!

I quit the old me.

I quit the unhealthy habits.

I quit everything that restrains me from meeting my parents' expectations.

Here is to the new beginning of myself! A commitment to myself and to my family to become a better version of myself. A commitment to stay healthy, to avoid negativity, to stay positive, to accept the change within me, and last but not the least, to make my parents and my family feel happy and proud of me.

An Appreciation Note..

To all those, who are reading this post. This is an appreciation note for one of the best bloggers, my friend and a great human, Kiran Nadir Khan. I have shared the link to her blog as well as to her Facebook page at the end of this post, so do check it out! Happy reading! (Smiles)

Hello Kiran The Great! (Oh sorry, I should have mentioned Asalamoalaikum). So, Asalamoalaikum KTG!

I hope you are doing well. I am here to post an appreciation note for you on managing your personal blog so well! I could have shown this appreciation in the simplest way, but wait... I am a blogger too (Not a regular one though), so how can I just post 2 lines of appreciation and end up my post? No, No! You have to read this! I would do this in the most interesting way! So my 'appreciation note story' starts here!

Today after almost 3.5 months, I logged into my Instagram account (you must be thinking why I am telling this here, but samjha karein, people get an impression of me that I am very focused and goal oriented person, I don't waste my time using social networking sites [Pun intended], Kher, Lets be back on appreciation note), and while I was scrolling down my TL, I saw ur post "A letter to my mom after becoming a mom myself" and it caught my attention. I clicked it and read the complete post, as soon as I was hitting the like button, I read the ending lines "For more interesting reads visit the link in my bio!"

Bs.. Phr kiya?

I clicked on the link in the bio and started reading all the posts, one by one. To my surprise, I did not know that you are a blogger too. And you write so well! The command you have on vocabulary, is amazing! I have to learn this from you. I also came to know after reading your posts that you are a great story teller, a poet, a patriot and an ordinary human with great brains! My best wishes are for you, keep writing quality blogs, keep sharing thoughtful insights, and keep your readers updated about your new blog posts!

I think this appreciation note has gone too long for now (sigh and a little laugh)!

Hashtag Kiran's Blog, Hashtag Appreciation Note, Hashtag Blogger Adat se Majboor, Hashtag Sigh!

Link to Kiran's Blog: https://kirankhansblog.wordpress.com/

Link to Facebook Page of Kiran's Blog: https://www.facebook.com/LeisurelyCreations/ 

Friends or Not Friends? Mystery Resolved.

It took me four long years to learn why people call every other person their friend. Some years ago, I used to categorize every person I meet as an acquaintance, a colleague, a friend, or a best friend. But the people I met in the last couple of years, at first they were just acquaintances, then they become colleagues, then they become friends and again they become acquaintances (and the cycle repeats).

Now, here is where the confusion begins. 

The kind of people we are and the kind of people we come across in our daily routine, it is difficult for us to change the category every day and put the same person back in the first list. If someone is a friend, an acquaintance and a colleague at the same time, we prefer to call them a friend because that is the easiest to pronounce and spell among all the others. So yes, I am friends with every person I meet every day. But I do have my category of best friends, that is personal! No more categories to fill in, this means no more colleagues and acquaintances, only friends. 

Zindagi aasaan hogayi. 

And lastly, all those people who always say that I don't call them my friend, I am friends with you all from now onwards. 

Hashtag All Are Friends, Hashtag I am blessed, Hashtag Mystery Resolved! Hashtag Sigh!

A Tribute to My Men on International Women’s Day

Today, on the International Women’s Day, where all the people are paying tributes to the women, thanking women for the role they have played in their lives, I want to write a thank you note to the strongest yet most delicate men in my life; my father and my brothers.

Every person in our society needs a moral support, whether it is a man or a woman, each individual requires the fuel to keep the life going. Different people have different sources to maintain a strong support system in their lives. Some people have a bunch of friends, always pushing them to do what they want to do, while others have got the back of their teachers to achieve their academic and professional goals. There are many people who get the fuel for managing a strong and well-maintained support system from their family, especially from parents. I fall into the last category!

My father, the most beautiful human, a life hero, a person who has served others from the beginning of his life years, and who is still willing to return back whatever he has got. He is a true Sufi, having a pure heart and love for women. I have never seen any man, especially in our society, being so optimist about all the pessimist views which people carry in their words, attitudes, and behaviors for the women who are goal-oriented. My father is a man who has backed us (me and my sisters) for setting the unachievable goals; given us the strength to untie the hardest knots and work hard each day for 12 to 15 hours, without complaining. I think all the hurdles and failures which he had faced in his life have turned into a blessing in disguise for us. The world sees him as a man who has done nothing for himself or for his children, but the story is completely opposed to this view. I think, he has given us the courage and faith to conquer the world. As an independent woman, today, I think I can create history; in fact, I am creating my history.

My brothers, the amazingly handsome and craziest creatures on this planet, having strong appearances but extremely soft hearts, always being supportive and great listeners (I forgot to mention in the above section, my father is one of the greatest listeners among all). Although, both are the tallest in our family, they are naturally positioned as the youngest siblings. The elder one is the driver-cum-robot (speed-boost driver!), does the grocery shopping every single day, wakes up early, goes to university, comes back and provides his services as a driver to the family, manages all the mechanical stuff related to the generator and car, have a big smile on his face all the time, a comedian, extremely sensitive and tolerant. Apart from all these things, he is an amazing human, yes, he cries. I think this one thing makes him the strongest among all the other man in our society. He knows his role and plays it with responsibility!

The younger one is the bookworm of our family, well-disciplined, strong in his decisions, focused, amazingly handsome, has a million dollar smile, loves food, acts like an elder one, extremely shy and aggressive yet extremely delicate, offers the most compassionate hugs and always provides a shoulder to cry on, whenever I need it. And yes, he cries too! I think the most beautiful thing about these men is that they do not hide their tears as they cry and demonstrate that they are humans too, and feel everything so deeply!

I want to pay a tribute to my three men today. I want to thank them for always being there, standing strong! I love them, I think wherever I stand today, is just because of these ‘three’ men. If they would not have been there, I would not have been here. I owe everything to them.

The reason behind my smile, my strongest support system; my father and my brothers!
THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!

Roger Federer - The Wimbledon Legend!

Clicks from last  year's winning day.
Federer the Record Breaker!

Federer’s Wimbledon titles marked him World’s best tennis player. Wimbledon is the oldest tennis championship which is held every year in the months of June and July in London, England. 

Many legends of tennis were able to add up their names in the top players by winning the Wimbledon titles. Roger Federer is also one of the greatest legend of Wimbledon. Among all the greatest players of history including John McEnroe, Pete Sampras (pistol pete), Bjorn Borg (Ice-man) or Boris Becker (youngest victor), Federer has the name of digging the most fevered shots played in the tennis courts of London.

The stimulating Wimbledon season has knocked the tennis courts of London again. And the tennis fever is on fire for all the tennis lovers as Federer has just landed in London couple of days back! The frigid temperature of London, these days kept on changing as mostly either the rainfall starts or the clouds let the bright rays to reach the tennis grounds by backing the sun!

Way to go for Federer this year and for all the tennis lovers too! Till the qualifying rounds completes, we all have to wait, to see Federer, winning all the rounds and break another record of being the 8^th time winner of Wimbledon title.

Cheers to all the tennis lovers!

Baba - My Mentor!

Yesterday was celebrated Fathers day and I thought of writing something regarding fathers day, then I decided not to write. But, when I realized the presence of my father in my life, the decision of not writing turns oppositely and I started writing!

 Sketch made by: Asra Tufail. 

Baba's life is like a film for me and is very inspiring! He struggled hard for our family throughout his life and still has that energy of doing everything for the family. Many people in the world don't get that close to their fathers but in my case it is supposedly different. I'm baba's elder daughter and he calls me his "hero". I always feel so proud when he calls me with this name.
However, we cannot deny the fact that life is going on with a rapid pace. It seems like days and nights are rushing, and screaming with annoyance to us to get closer to the positivity! Subsequently, I think of those people who don't have that close relationship with their fathers. As fathers are eternally the key part of any individual's life, I wish that God bless all those people to get close to their fathers and to all the fathers also, who are away from their children. And I also wish that all the fathers get their real places in their lives in this world.
My Baba is the man with eternal power, he has given me courage, strength and powerful intention to explore the world. He has been a great support throughout! Whenever I got stuck in some kind of bad situations, he was there for me. Today if I'm able to write this blog, its only because of him. In fact, it would have been very difficult for me if he wouldn't have appreciated me.
My Baba is my mentor, my best friend, he is the man behind me, always pushing me and letting me think of the positive side. I'm blessed and thankful to Almighty Allah that He has blessed me with such an amazing, lovely and handsome father MashaAllah.
Ending up my post, I would like to say, love your dad, adore him and regard him, for he is the only one who would listen to you, would always give you a tight hug when you needed and will do everything for you to make you feel happy. May God bless all the fathers in the world and keep them away from all the evil eyes. Ameen. 

Your comments will be appreciated, do comment if you feel the same for your fathers. 

How Music Affects Humans?

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” ― Bob Marley

Music is the combination of vocal and instrumental sounds. Every single person has his or her own opinion about music. Different people have different taste and several kinds of music have many ways of leaving an impact on human brain. It can be relaxing, soothing, comforting, energizing and many more. Music relaxes human brain, helps in memorizing things, events knowledge, etc. and helps in expressing the feelings of humans to other humans.

Scientists have proved that there are various music theories about how music positively affects perceived pain. Music causes the body to release endorphins(a chemical naturally released in the brain to reduce pain and relax or energizes the brain). Music also works as a distractor and may give a person a sense of control.

Moreover, music boosts the immunity system of a human body. Scientists have also researched that a particular type of music can create a positive emotional change, which leads to secretion of immune-boosting hormones. So, it helps to reduce the factors responsible for illness. However, listening to music decreases levels of stress-related hormone “cortisol”. As a result, higher level of cortisol can lead to a decreased immune response.

Can music help a person to study? Arsalan Tehmoor, student of 10^th grade at St.Jude’s High School, shared his experience and said “whenever I found any difficulty in sums of mathematics, listening to some good music stuff, mostly solved my problems”. Well there is a similar research in which it is shown that the right kind of music can help in relaxing the mind which enables a person to concentrate better. Likewise, music enhances a person’s intelligence, learning and IQ. It has the power to enhance certain kinds of brain functions like reading and literacy skills, mathematical abilities and emotional intelligence. Similarly a research has proved that music can improve memory performance. Listening to music, facilitates the recall of information. Infact researchers have shown that information learned while listening to a particular song can often be recalled simply by “playing” the song mentally. Nadia Malik is a teacher of English comprehension of 4^th grade in a private school and she told according to her experience, “it becomes very easy for me to develop the interest of the students and also helped them in recalling the previous lessons”.

Music is thus, considered a powerful tool which can be used by people to express themselves. As the effects of music on human brain are proved by all scientists and researchers, therefore, I think that every person should take out some time and listen to the music in day to day life. Though it is not easy but still it is proved by the concerned people of science that listening to music for a few minutes leaves a very positive impact on human behavior. As famous American poet of 19^th century Oliver Wendell Holmes has also said:
“Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, you will find it is to the soul what a water bath is to the body.”