Journey from 'Taraqi Pazeer' to 'Taraqi Yaafta'..

Baba keeps saying this to me and my siblings that now is the time to put all your efforts and work harder. He keeps telling us, "baba, we are in the 'taraqi pazeer' situation, when we will become 'taraqi yafta', then the whole world will be under your feet." 

He always motivates us and makes us believe that all our dreams will come true one day! He prays all the time for us and keeps saying loudly that all these world tours, the luxuries, the vacations will one day be so easy for us to manage and afford, then we will say to ourselves, "so, this was the world tour!" He tries to bring the best in us when we are feeling down.

Not only Baba, Ammi also tries to lessen our burden by doing our little things like washing our clothes (when we are tired and don't have enough time and energy to manage our wordrobe). The best thing about my parents, and especially baba, which I admire the most is that he knows about the mood swings, the good feelings, the anger and the depression mode of each one of us (We are 5 siblings and our personalities and natures are poles apart). 

I don't know how parents keep a balance in making their children feel that they are only theirs. They make each one of us believe that they have their trust in us, they are there, holding us tightly, standing strong! And no matter what strikes them, with full negativity, they never show it to us. 

I don't know about others' parents, but our Ammi and Baba always listen to what we have to say and share with them. Their presence in our lives makes us feel less burdened, lighter and more comfortable in being us and being ourselves! They are the backbone of the family, both of them!

Dear Ammi and Baba, 

I don't know whether you will read this or not, but I want you to know that I love you both the most. I can't think of a better best friend than both of you. May Allah bless you both with great health, happiness and peace. Ameen sum ameen. 

Yours only,

Heer

I QUIT!

I quit! Hath Mathay Baba..!

I have been very indecisive for the past 7 years. Although I have learnt thousands of lessons, it is really sad to say that I have ruined my health, my emotions, expectations of my closed ones and my development as an adult. The last time I made a strong decision in my life was in June 2012, it was the time when I decided to pursue law and I was so strong in my decision that I committed to myself that I will convince my father for allowing me to study law. After making this decision, I have been going with the flow. 

There were times when I had to suffer a lot emotionally, personally and professionally. But I was of the opinion that it is part of the process of learning. Initially, I did not complain about anything because I read somewhere that those who complain don't own their mistakes. So I was owning every mistake I made at that time. But gradually, I started getting up set with this. I started complaining about things and people. I was not able to sort it out what exactly was going on with me, why I was so much complaining about everything that existed in my life. I started spending less time with my siblings, only talked to my parents, specifically my father, 2 to 3 times a week.

Although I preferred to make no friends since my childhood and I always liked to spend time in isolation (but that was only for the world outside), this isolation period in which I was not talking to anyone at home, broke me more emotionally. Till date, I only talk to my father at home and I used to have very less conversations with everyone at home. But in all these years, I always wanted to quit. 

Yes, I wanted to quit this isolation. I wanted to quit my old self. I wanted to quit every bad habit that destroyed my health. But I was very indecisive and I developed this indecisivity due to all the things that were going on in my life, both personally and professionally. 

From making a decision to study law to becoming a licensed lawyer today, the journey has been a long one but it has affected me in such a way that the process of change within myself has been restrained. I have become too lazy to put effort in becoming a better version of myself. This laziness, this feeling, this whole situation had struck me recently.

But, I QUIT!

I quit the old me.

I quit the unhealthy habits.

I quit everything that restrains me from meeting my parents' expectations.

Here is to the new beginning of myself! A commitment to myself and to my family to become a better version of myself. A commitment to stay healthy, to avoid negativity, to stay positive, to accept the change within me, and last but not the least, to make my parents and my family feel happy and proud of me.