Lessons Learnt in 2020

This past year, 2020, has taught me so much that I can implement in my coming life. I have relearnt so many lessons, which were unlearnt somehow in the past couple of years. I learnt once again to let go everything, every feeling, every person, irrespective of the fact that I do not want to do that. 

But I learnt to let go because we cannot hold anything or any person to be with us, we cannot live a life based on the assumption that we have everyone around, no, we have no one around, we were alone, we are alone and we will remain be alone and I think this is how life is. This is how Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala want us to be. This is how Allah want me to be, He wants me to rely only and only on Him, He wants me to put all my efforts in the work for which he has sent me in this world. 

I have relearnt that be less expressive, keep your thoughts to yourself, don't over do things, just be calm and patient and become the best observer. Don't panic, don't let your anger drive you crazy, be friends with your anger, be friends with your inner self, be what you are, don't try to be someone who is not you. 

I have relearnt that life is tuff and it will be more difficult in future but the more difficult it becomes, the stronger your faith becomes. 

I have untied so many knots and set everything, every person free, I am my own friend, I have relearnt that no one can be your best friend except yourself, if you are sad, only you know it and only you are going to be affected by it, no one, literally no one will be there to see or even notice you. That is life!

No matter how many friends, loved ones, closed ones are there, you will have no one around you when you need it. It is you who will be there. So if anyone is calling you selfish because you care for yourself, let them think that. Keep yourself at peace, work on yourself, stay quiet and avoid any kind of interruption in anyone's matters. Just focus on yourself and do your best. Everything else will fall into place.

I have learnt that it is important to make yourself your own priority, make your connection stronger with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala because at the end of the day, it is the only thing that is there, that is your saviour. No one else will come to help you except Allah. 

 

Be Kind!

Try as much as possible to appreciate others, if someone is trying to tell you something, listen to it. May be you are the only listener that person has, may be you are the only one for whom he/she waits to talk to, may be you are the one who can heal that person from any or all kinds of sufferings. 

What are counselling sessions? What psychologists do? They listen. They listen to what the person has to say. We are living in this world, where no one is ready to listen, no one has the patience to listen with peace. By just a single word, or two, we might be responsible for damaging a person’s self-esteem. 

There are people full of love and compassion, but when they don’t see any acknowledgement for being kind, for being compassionate, it makes them become rude from outside, and they go through inner battles that completely cause severe damage to their heart and soul. 

If you are someone’s friend, be a friend, if you are someone’s confidant, be a confidant, if you are someone’s listener, be a listener, if you are someone’s hope, be a hope! Be kind, be tolerant! Try to make things easy for others, may be your habit of listening or your utterance of few words of kindness could help someone fight the psychological problems. 

Be a help! Help that could let someone handle the troubling brain games.

Words Matter!

The people in this world are so rude that when you genuinely show concern towards them, when you are being empathetic, when you ask them how they are doing, are they okay, do they need any help?... You will be judged… You will be given this perception that please keep your concerns to yourself, don’t ask us… I don’t understand why everyone in this world is so mean, why empathy is not appreciated… 

We humans were sent to this world to be kind to others, be helpful for others, stay humble and be empathetic. We have been given knowledge of deen and dunya, we are told about the manners, we are informed about the choice of words we have to use while interacting with others. But we prefer to stay quiet… Words matter! Words really matter!

Words give life to humans… We humans are so in need of the words that can heal us, if words would not have mattered, why would have Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala used the words in Quran? Why didn’t he just gave the message to Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) and tell him to convey to us? Because He knew that we humans want to listen to words, want to read it. 

But it is so saddening to know and accept that even if someone shows pure concerns, have pure intentions to be good to others, that person has to go through a lot alone because everyone around is trying to tell that person that there is some issue with you, you are not normal, you are not acting the way the world is acting. You should behave in the same manner like all the people are behaving in this world…

Few words can save someone from being hopeless, can save someone from being evil, can save someone from becoming like the rest of the world… We have to be kind, we have to appreciate kindness, we have to do it because Allah has conveyed this message to us through Quran and through his beloved Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.). 

We have to keep the worldly things at a side and be nice to others, we have to stop being judgemental because it will ruin many pure people around us, we will be left with no kindness, no purity, no humility…

Thank you Note..

My dear friends,

To all those, with whom I have talked and shared my heart and thoughts in 2019, thank you so much for your time, attention, advice, and most importantly, for being an avid listener. This year has been a great year for me in terms of my professional development and earnings, but as far as the personal development is concerned, I went through a lot, both emotionally and mentally. But I have learnt great lessons from every experience this year. I was not able to identify what exactly was hitting me deep inside but each one of you (I know you all know that I am talking to you), your existence, love, attention and precious time saved me from the worst thoughts. I am writing this thank you note to each one of you. I am truly blessed to have you all around me. I hope and pray that we keep in touch like this in the coming year as well. Prayers, hugs and flowers for you all. Had I been given a chance to pick some of the best people who are no less than a diamond, I would have surely picked you all, for a life time!

Thank you so much.

Love,

Asra

Journey from 'Taraqi Pazeer' to 'Taraqi Yaafta'..

Baba keeps saying this to me and my siblings that now is the time to put all your efforts and work harder. He keeps telling us, "baba, we are in the 'taraqi pazeer' situation, when we will become 'taraqi yafta', then the whole world will be under your feet." 

He always motivates us and makes us believe that all our dreams will come true one day! He prays all the time for us and keeps saying loudly that all these world tours, the luxuries, the vacations will one day be so easy for us to manage and afford, then we will say to ourselves, "so, this was the world tour!" He tries to bring the best in us when we are feeling down.

Not only Baba, Ammi also tries to lessen our burden by doing our little things like washing our clothes (when we are tired and don't have enough time and energy to manage our wordrobe). The best thing about my parents, and especially baba, which I admire the most is that he knows about the mood swings, the good feelings, the anger and the depression mode of each one of us (We are 5 siblings and our personalities and natures are poles apart). 

I don't know how parents keep a balance in making their children feel that they are only theirs. They make each one of us believe that they have their trust in us, they are there, holding us tightly, standing strong! And no matter what strikes them, with full negativity, they never show it to us. 

I don't know about others' parents, but our Ammi and Baba always listen to what we have to say and share with them. Their presence in our lives makes us feel less burdened, lighter and more comfortable in being us and being ourselves! They are the backbone of the family, both of them!

Dear Ammi and Baba, 

I don't know whether you will read this or not, but I want you to know that I love you both the most. I can't think of a better best friend than both of you. May Allah bless you both with great health, happiness and peace. Ameen sum ameen. 

Yours only,

Heer

I QUIT!

I quit! Hath Mathay Baba..!

I have been very indecisive for the past 7 years. Although I have learnt thousands of lessons, it is really sad to say that I have ruined my health, my emotions, expectations of my closed ones and my development as an adult. The last time I made a strong decision in my life was in June 2012, it was the time when I decided to pursue law and I was so strong in my decision that I committed to myself that I will convince my father for allowing me to study law. After making this decision, I have been going with the flow. 

There were times when I had to suffer a lot emotionally, personally and professionally. But I was of the opinion that it is part of the process of learning. Initially, I did not complain about anything because I read somewhere that those who complain don't own their mistakes. So I was owning every mistake I made at that time. But gradually, I started getting up set with this. I started complaining about things and people. I was not able to sort it out what exactly was going on with me, why I was so much complaining about everything that existed in my life. I started spending less time with my siblings, only talked to my parents, specifically my father, 2 to 3 times a week.

Although I preferred to make no friends since my childhood and I always liked to spend time in isolation (but that was only for the world outside), this isolation period in which I was not talking to anyone at home, broke me more emotionally. Till date, I only talk to my father at home and I used to have very less conversations with everyone at home. But in all these years, I always wanted to quit. 

Yes, I wanted to quit this isolation. I wanted to quit my old self. I wanted to quit every bad habit that destroyed my health. But I was very indecisive and I developed this indecisivity due to all the things that were going on in my life, both personally and professionally. 

From making a decision to study law to becoming a licensed lawyer today, the journey has been a long one but it has affected me in such a way that the process of change within myself has been restrained. I have become too lazy to put effort in becoming a better version of myself. This laziness, this feeling, this whole situation had struck me recently.

But, I QUIT!

I quit the old me.

I quit the unhealthy habits.

I quit everything that restrains me from meeting my parents' expectations.

Here is to the new beginning of myself! A commitment to myself and to my family to become a better version of myself. A commitment to stay healthy, to avoid negativity, to stay positive, to accept the change within me, and last but not the least, to make my parents and my family feel happy and proud of me.

An Appreciation Note..

To all those, who are reading this post. This is an appreciation note for one of the best bloggers, my friend and a great human, Kiran Nadir Khan. I have shared the link to her blog as well as to her Facebook page at the end of this post, so do check it out! Happy reading! (Smiles)

Hello Kiran The Great! (Oh sorry, I should have mentioned Asalamoalaikum). So, Asalamoalaikum KTG!

I hope you are doing well. I am here to post an appreciation note for you on managing your personal blog so well! I could have shown this appreciation in the simplest way, but wait... I am a blogger too (Not a regular one though), so how can I just post 2 lines of appreciation and end up my post? No, No! You have to read this! I would do this in the most interesting way! So my 'appreciation note story' starts here!

Today after almost 3.5 months, I logged into my Instagram account (you must be thinking why I am telling this here, but samjha karein, people get an impression of me that I am very focused and goal oriented person, I don't waste my time using social networking sites [Pun intended], Kher, Lets be back on appreciation note), and while I was scrolling down my TL, I saw ur post "A letter to my mom after becoming a mom myself" and it caught my attention. I clicked it and read the complete post, as soon as I was hitting the like button, I read the ending lines "For more interesting reads visit the link in my bio!"

Bs.. Phr kiya?

I clicked on the link in the bio and started reading all the posts, one by one. To my surprise, I did not know that you are a blogger too. And you write so well! The command you have on vocabulary, is amazing! I have to learn this from you. I also came to know after reading your posts that you are a great story teller, a poet, a patriot and an ordinary human with great brains! My best wishes are for you, keep writing quality blogs, keep sharing thoughtful insights, and keep your readers updated about your new blog posts!

I think this appreciation note has gone too long for now (sigh and a little laugh)!

Hashtag Kiran's Blog, Hashtag Appreciation Note, Hashtag Blogger Adat se Majboor, Hashtag Sigh!

Link to Kiran's Blog: https://kirankhansblog.wordpress.com/

Link to Facebook Page of Kiran's Blog: https://www.facebook.com/LeisurelyCreations/